First Steps: Resistance

Resistance can be helpful, protective at times. It can give us the opportunity to consider what’s being offered, or happening, and make a choice. In the past, it was more thinking about these situations, figuring out what I wanted to do. The ego mind (our human self) only knows the past, what we’ve encountered before and what seemed to work and what didn’t. That pattern has brought us to this moment…this opportunity to discover more, to be willing to allow our Soul Self to show us the way home.

In my last post, I mentioned that I was drawn to the bigger picture…that I really couldn’t say no to the path that was opening in front of me. That didn’t mean that all the different parts of me, all of the voices in my head thought it was a great idea. My first reaction to change, to something new, is “No”. I quite like the familiar, whether it is comfortable or not. Just let me stay where I think I know what’s going on and I’m happy. But was I really? Happy? Not so much…

Here are a few of the ways my human self resisted this change – tried to say ‘no’ to my inner longing for More. You might be experiencing similar thoughts and behaviours.

Doubt – At the end of my first experience with channelling in 2000, I asked my Higher Self “Why should I believe any of what you’re talking about?” The reply: “Our human ego mind tends to resist the unknown and unknowable. It is by connecting with your Soul Self and experiencing the gradual transformation that you will know it is true for you.” When doubt comes up, it is my mind saying that this doesn’t agree with what I’ve been taught in the past. Whether it’s the information offered (a bigger picture) or the method of transmission (channelling), my mind is triggered and still, from time to time, asks me if this is true…if it’s real.

Previous Programming – I come from a very legalistic and conservative Christian background. I was taught that this kind of woo woo stuff, the airy fairy way of believing we could talk to the dead, or the angels, or anything that wasn’t REAL (to the mind) was sinful and would lead to eternal damnation. There are many shades of this programming…from hellfire and damnation to simple fear of the unknown. Doesn’t matter if the fear and resistance are based in religious teaching, science, or psychological diagnoses. It’s all fear and based in the ego mind.

These voices inside me remain, but are far more muted and less likely to come up these days. Our old programming keeps us stuck in what was…what we knew then…what someone else believed and we decided to believe. We chose to accept those beliefs in the past and we can choose to explore new possibilities now, with our heart.

Money – These personal channelled readings or coaching sessions are expensive. So are weekend retreats, courses, travel to events, and books and videos on the subject. In the beginning, I was working full-time and money wasn’t really an issue, except my human self decided to make it one. It combined various areas of resistance as my mind challenged my choices with thoughts like ‘why spend all this money on something that’s fake?’ Or ‘we need that money for something else, not some pie in the sky hope’.  Or ‘we don’t need this stuff, we’re doing fine’.

As my journey continued, I left my full-time work in 2007 and then let go of my private practice. It looked like I was retired at 60, with no source of income until I reached 62 years old. Then, leading up to 2009, I knew I was to leave the LA area and move to Ashland, OR. The voices of resistance inside me were on loudspeaker!

And yet…and yet, a month before I was leaving, a man walked up to my home in the hills of Sun Valley, CA. He was a location scout for a TV show and ended up paying me $8500 to use my home for an episode. Just ONE example of the myriad ways in which the divine has and continues to provide everything that I require. (A caveat here: My human mind might think I need something even as my Soul Self knows a different path.)

Time – Everything seems to be speeding up. I feel it…you probably do, too. There was not enough time for what I had to do in the beginning. Why add things like meditation and quiet time, reading about expanding or ascension or enlightenment, or attending events that offer assistance on my journey? At first, it was the simple choice of following my heart, listening to my Soul’s guidance. Now, my experience tells me that there is always enough time for what brings me joy – that which helps me connect to my Soul Self. That connection continues to help everything else get done with less effort, less frustration…with more ease and grace. Being in the flow of the universe with my Soul Self greases the wheels of my life and brings surprises and joy along the way.

Our human mind can find infinite ways and thoughts to resist change. Distractions are all around us, some seemingly beyond the importance of connecting with the divine. As I choose to open to the divine within me, to expand into the bigger picture and strengthen my connection with my Soul Self, life becomes lighter, brighter, and more fulfilling. I remember asking a leader about these resistances early in this part of my journey. I told her I was willing to try but my mind kept getting in the way. Her response was to be willing to be willing to allow – no trying necessary (it’s a mind thing), simply choosing moment by moment.

When you have the intention to explore and expand, your Soul Self will join with you and grease the wheels…gradually bringing the experience of heaven on earth within you.