First Steps: Out of the old and into the new

Looking back on those first years as I began this chapter of my journey, two things stand out. I was unknowingly at a crossroads in my life and I was open to something more. My long-term relationship had just ended, the mental health agency for foster children in LA that I founded was growing and able to continue on its own, and I had loved and been loved. What more was there? I was depressed and had been for several years -nothing felt good anymore…there was nothing to look forward to. I suspect most of us have been there at some point.

Then, in 2000, a friend suggested I have a personal reading with a channel she worked with – and a whole new world opened up for me. My mind couldn’t quite grasp what was being offered at first. The bigger picture was too startling, too foreign. Yet something…something took hold deep within me. There was more, much more, available. I began to sense hope, excitement, new possibilities for a new way of being, a new perspective on who I was and what I was about.

After that first reading, there were months of rumination and internal bickering before I took the next step. I chose to have another reading to ask more questions. After that I chose to participate in a weekend retreat – again, not knowing what I was looking for or where I was going. Just knowing that there was something inside me that kept choosing the next step.

I suppose it was helpful that my friend was also on this path. I don’t consider myself especially adventurous or a seeker. And yet there was this inner knowing, a hidden part of myself that was beginning to come alive. As I learned more about the bigger picture (Unity Consciousness) and learned more about my own inner desires, I could NOT NOT continue on this path. (I know, strange way of saying it but it felt right.)

I could feel the promise of love, joy, fun, peace, satisfaction…all the good stuff I’d been missing (my whole life, it turns out). And I began to experience moments of these possibilities in my life. Random acts of kindness brought me to tears. Times of peace in the quietness offered respite from the voices of judgment and fear.

I also started to look at all the ‘brokenness’ that kept me so stuck in misery in a new way. I say ‘brokenness’ because that is how I was taught – to understand what was ‘wrong with me’ and try to fix it. And now I know that it is part of the human experience to judge, be bad, try and fail, etc. As a soul having human experiences here, I learned to focus on finding my way back to being a soul in Unity Consciousness without judgment of self or others. So different from a focus on and the experience of the ‘brokenness’ (not to mention suffering) of being human in the Third Dimension.

The thing about joining or studying with another person or a group is the availability of guidance and support, both human and divine. I was so ready to let go of trying to figure out how to be happy, how to fix the seemingly insurmountable problems in my life! I was open to new perspectives on the world, both my internal world of wanting to just give up and leave as well as what I saw as unfixable in the world around me. And I was not alone as I explored more.

Access to the guidance of Ascended Masters such as Jesus, Mother Mary, St. Germain, Quan Yin, and many others was priceless. The information about my human self, the bigger picture of what was really going on, and loving support during those early years kept me going. There was just enough hope for something different, something more, that I was able to begin letting go of what I thought I knew. It was clear that what I previously learned and the choices I made along the way had successfully brought me to this point. Now the ingredients necessary to continue into the ‘more’ were finally available to me – and I was open to receive them.

The most exciting and fulfilling part of this new chapter was learning about and deepening my connection with my Soul Self. Waiting patiently for my human self to become aware, my Soul Self was ready to gradually take its place as my connection with the divine, my personal guide and support. Oh, it wasn’t easy to let go of my mind chatter and begin to hear my Soul Self. And yet this intimate link with my soul, so very precious to me then, is now gradually becoming who I am.

We have all learned about how to be human…from our family, our culture, our education system. Even our faith traditions tend to focus on what God is ‘out there’, leaving us as humans, separate and alone. We’ve forgotten our inner connection with the divine, our Soul Self, that the mystics knew and wrote about.

We are in a period of accelerated evolution of consciousness, of new, higher frequency energies coming to our planet. Discovering Your Soul Self is more available than ever before. It’s time to remember that the old teachings that lead to separation and suffering are not our true identity. And, perhaps it’s time to open to the hope, love and peace that come from the higher perspectives of what’s really happening within and without. From this place we truly begin to create heaven here on earth from within.