Putting It All Together – Part 4

My intent with the previous posts was to give you a sense of Discovering Your Soul Self, the signposts I use to create a path of letting go of the old and opening to new, higher perspectives. This path is highly individual and fluid, the signposts coming to each person and in each situation through the wisdom of their Soul Self. Knowing there is a divine process unfolding allows my mind to relax. Choosing to let go of fear-based emotions that keep us stuck in old patterns and thoughts provides the freedom to receive new insights, higher perspectives. The boxes story was a simple, straight forward example of this. And then came the series of experiences that unfolded over two weeks, seemingly unconnected, and yet so very much part of a larger cycle of expansion.

Part 1 – Awareness

The roller coaster ride hit me hard. I was aware that I was being triggered in a big way. There was something going on that was important, yet my mental/spiritual bandwidth was clouded with my old emotional reactions. So many questions – Why was this happening? What was I supposed to pay attention to? Where did this lead? I know that it was opening some very old, unconscious pockets of fear-based patterns and thoughts…bringing them eventually into my awareness.

My Soul Self was preparing me for what was to come. It holds my past and future life times as well as my present life’s intentions to both clear old trauma energy as well as open to more love, to allow more light into these dark places. I was able to hang in there without going into drama by remembering to breathe and smile. My mind likes to dismiss this as a simplistic answer – and yet it works! Research as well as my personal experience show that smiling not only changes my own experience from awful to happy. It changes the experience of those around me as well. And breathing…well, being aware that every breath I take brings in more divine consciousness is not just helpful, it’s also the reason I’m here. So, I breathe and smile as my car won’t start, my bank accounts are locked and miracles happen.

Part 2 – Emotionally Stuck

The days of deepening depression due to unresolved emotional turmoil from the highs and lows I experienced, was exactly that. A growing awareness of the old emotions and the opportunity to feel into them and release them. I knew there was a purpose to these situations, an opportunity to expand. Yet I still didn’t have the answer to my other questions. So I rested in the knowing that my Soul Self was guiding me to and through something (that I really didn’t  much like).

And I continued to breathe and smile (sometimes the smile is more of a grimace yet the thought itself shifts my energy) until the ‘ah-ha’ moment – I was depressed. Tears wouldn’t come, I could feel anger, yet no emotional release. There was just a gathering of all the symptoms of depression until it hit me in the face. My mind had a label. So now what do I do? I knew what I’d done in the past, what I’d counselled others to do…

My mind wanted answers even as my Soul simply wanted my human self to relax, quit trying to force something or figure it out, just allow it to do it’s work. As I shifted into the observer role, I noticed that the depression wasn’t full of misery as I remembered from the past, but more of a deep sense of giving up. Which, in its own way, was perfect for allowing my Soul Self to bring me new information in divine timing.

Life went on for a few days  – my human mind tried a few of the tools I have used in the past with minimal success. Unable to meditate or release the emotions, I simply took one step and then the next. Trusting, allowing, knowing that my Soul Self is at work whether I can feel it or not has been a huge part of my journey. The emotional turmoil left me confused. I found myself sinking into self judgment at times, another very old pattern of mine.

Part 3 – Insight

Eventually, one afternoon I was able to sit down in meditation…and then came the insight, the information and higher perspectives from my Soul Self that helped my human self start to put the pieces together.

The experience of depression is not just very old, it is ancient! The description of the Cro-Magnon man was so detailed and clear I could feel into his experience as I stayed in my heart. We can go back into the experience to learn and to find resolution – to bring love, not to judge. His simple life, with its joys and hardships, was disrupted and taken from him in a moment. Protecting and providing for his family was the essence of his existence, his identity – and now they were gone…it was all gone.

Feeling even more deeply into this later, there was an extreme sense of vulnerability beyond that of trying to keep everyone safe. Had my unconscious emotions not been triggered earlier – had I not experienced the depth of depression I did, I would have missed recognizing this. For him, there was absolutely nothing that could have prevented watching his family be slaughtered. Now there was nothing to keep him wanting to live. Everything he knew about how to be and who he was had been taken away. Finally, my emotions were coming to the surface, available for release as I felt into his experience. Breathing deeply into my lower belly created the space for my mind to let go and the pain and sorrow to come up.

Putting It All Together – Integration

Integration, or merging the Soul Self with our human self, continues. Releasing the old emotions and receiving the higher perspectives are creating new beliefs, new patterns of behaviour in me. Yes, depression is carried forward through our DNA, our genetic programming. It can also be deprogrammed as we go into the trauma that is stuck and release those low-frequency emotional energies. There is hope, even in the midst of trauma that we carry from experiences that happened millennia ago or last week. Depression is a human experience that can be released as we realize that it is not our reality as our Soul Self.

Choices

We can choose to be aware of and allow the different parts of the cycle of expansion to unfold. We can become more love-based, more divinely inspired, in our every moment. Choice is our free will – the freedom to remember we are souls here in human form, having human experiences. How we respond to what our path brings to us is our choice. Our Soul Self will not override our human choices, simply honour them and continue to support and guide us in the path we have chosen.

At this time, humanity (each of us) has the opportunity to choose to be vulnerable. Our personal worlds need to be disrupted or shaken up in order to open to the divine. We are provided opportunities to let go of what we think we know, how to stay safe, our purpose for being here, our very identity. We can go into the fear, anger, shame, that comes through the cracks in our old defences – and continue to suffer. Or we can let go and allow our Soul Self to come forth as our true identity.

Right now, everything is being shaken up in our internal and external worlds in alignment with the divine plan. We have the choice to create heaven here on earth, from the inside out. Are you ready to consciously connect with your Soul Self, to become all you have come to be?